Autumn Hope

Today, as my husband David was driving to work, the bright autumn sunshine contradicted his heavy heart as he prayed for dear friends of ours who today are walking through the anniversary of their deepest loss.

This brought to his memory a poem I wrote in 1991, so he called me, and it was a beautiful moment as we paused to be in the same "space" for a moment, to remember the sadness, not only of the stories that long ago inspired the poem, but of the story our friends are living today.

And together, we wondered at the juxtaposition of light and loss.

We hung up, and I found my day detoured by a determination to find the poem. As it was written multiple platforms of computer technology ago, the task was daunting. I began my search...

our computer backups

     our bookcases

          our filing cabinet

               and finally

those small boxes in the back of the attic labeled "Jill's junk."

And that's where I found it! Thank God we never threw away that junk!

I wrote this poem on September 22, 1991, the day my birth son turned five. This poem touches on my story plus two others - of a friend from my college speech team, and of a young married couple in the communication department at GMU.


That date no longer brings me sadness. The Lord brought healing to my heart over time, and then He gave me the unexpected blessing of being reunited with my birth son, who is a wonderful man of 32, husband, and father to two beautiful children!

Through the years, I've lived through other losses, lesser than the ones my friends remember today, and I imagine there will be more, for I've lived long enough to know that loss is a common companion on the human journey, a universal part of the human condition.

It is likely so have you.

What is our remedy? The answer is a "Who" rather than a "What"...

Through Jesus, "we have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure" (Hebrews 6:19).

One day, October 24 will no longer bring sadness to the friends we stand with today, for they rest, in hope, on the Lord's promise of eternity in Revelation 21:4: "He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever."

Do you find yourself today in a loss so dark that the sunshine hurts? It may not feel like it today, but

There is Hope.

There is a Remedy.

There is a Light that heals our deepest losses.

There is Jesus.

Under Water

Happy Memorial Day! This post is part personal reflection, part audio blog. Thank you for reading and listening in!

School just ended for my girls (ages 14 and almost 6), and we are enjoying a visit to extended family before we settle into a summer routine. This summer will be different from previous ones because my employment takes me outside of our home regularly for the first time since I became a mom.

In February, I accepted a position as my church’s administration pastor, a position I would define as part office administrator, part junior executive pastor. Even though I planned my part-time hours around my girls’ school days, it was still a big adjustment for all of us, and I felt like I was “under water” for a while.

One place this has been evident is in my blogging. I began my blog with the New Year, planning to post twice a month; instead, I’ve posted twice. This year. Part of that was due to this adjustment. But part was due to my desire to meticulously prepare posts.

God called me to author this blog about the "biblical process of letting go" (see “About the Author”).

       And He’s also called me to be a staff pastor at my church.

              [He has clearly confirmed both of these paths in my life.]

                     And of course He’s still calling me to be a wife and mom.

But God has NOT given me the ability or the authority to accomplish these things the way I think they should be done. God is using this new season in my life to remind me that as the Author of my story, He has determined not only what He is calling me to, but how to live it out. When I follow Him in both the what and the how, He supplies both the ability and the authority to accomplish His purposes.

Interestingly, that is part of the message He gave me to share during the Mother’s Day presentation at our church. Here is the link to the brief (< 6 minutes) word of encouragement the Lord had me share:

Mantled with Authority: Word of Encouragement to Women

Once you listen, you’ll know why we handed out gladiolas to the women in attendance rather than traditional Mother’s Day flowers. (Hint: The root word for gladiolas is NOT the same root word for glad, but for… [you’ll have to listen to find out!])

Have you found yourself "under water" lately, unable to come up for air? Pause for a moment to consider: What has the Author of your story called you to do? And how is He leading you to go about doing it? As you follow Him in the what and the how, you will feel the angst of human effort fall away and find that you have everything (and all the time) you need.

Thank you for reading and listening. Please “follow” my blog to be notified when I post.

His Masterpiece

“Are you ready to meet Princess Lily?” asked the fairy godmother-in-training who was pampering my five year old at Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique.

A decade ago, it was my older daughter Evie in that chair, courtesy of a birthday gift from her aunt. Today, she was making the same dream come true for her little sister. Evie and I sat on the edge of our cushioned seats in the elaborately decorated room, as Lily’s chair swiveled in our direction…

<<GASP>>

Introducing Princess Lily!

Just as dramatic as Cinderella’s transformation in the garden at the hands of her fairy godmother, the littlest, craziest, loudest member of our family was completely transformed… the dress, the hair, the makeup, the nails, the fairy dust (aka glitter), the tiara… princess perfection!

And she knew it… Our little spit fire, our “Bam Bam,” in an incredible feat of royal stamina, stayed in character the entire day spent at Epcot… every action, every movement, dainty and angelic.

Our family visits Disney World approximately once a decade, and until this year, never in the middle of a school year, so our four days in the “land of the Mouse” in January were highly anticipated and fully thrilling. For me, our experiences at Bibbidi for both of our girls symbolize the two trademarks of the Disney experience – the exquisite attention to quality in everything, and the inexhaustible commitment to treat every guest as special.

I couldn’t help but make the connection to how much more these are trademarks of our Heavenly Father! Walk with me as I explore this thought…

Walt Disney lived by his own words, “Whatever you do, do it well,” and today, continued commitment to the founder’s ideals is evident in every exhibit and experience in the parks. From the spectacular fireworks in Magic Kingdom, to the authentic charm of each country in Epcot, to the meticulously detailed surreal world of Pandora in Animal Kingdom, it is clear that the parks are, in Disney’s words, “a work of love.”

This is the legacy of a man committed to quality. Yet even Disney acknowledged, “I resent the limitations of my own imagination.”

There are no limits to God’s imagination. His Word says that He “made the world and everything in it” (Acts 17:24), and that everything He created was “very good” (Genesis 1:31). In fact, the most remarkable sights at Disney World are God’s handiwork… the gorgeous sunsets, the majestic animals, and most intricate of all, the people.

Ephesians 2:10 describes us as His “masterpiece.” The Psalmist declares, “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous…” (Psalm 139:13-14). Talk about a work of love!

Take Lily, for example. My high-energy kindergartener, typically muddy from playing outside with the little boy who lives next door, was transformed into a sparkly princess at Bibbidi. But the raw materials – her flaxen hair, sky blue eyes, adorable dimples, and contagious laugh – those came from the Master Creator.

While our little princess received compliments all day, she was not the only one treated like royalty. All of us were. Anyone who has experienced the pleasantness, unflappability, and patience of a Disney “cast member” (aka employee) can attest that “Be Our Guest” is more than a famous Disney song… it’s the anthem for Disney’s guest services. Nowhere is this more obvious than when waiting in line to meet a princess. The weariness of the wait disappears the moment the princess gives your child her undivided attention, asks her questions, and really listens to her.

But nobody does “special” like God! I once heard someone question, “How can we all be special to God?” Any parent of multiple children can testify that all of our children are special to us! It’s no different with our Heavenly Father.

The Psalmist continues, “You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book... How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! (Psalm 139:16-17). He delights in us (Psalm 149:4) and rejoices over us (Zephaniah 3:17). The God who handcrafted us endured the cross for the joy of restoring us (Hebrews 12:2). There is nothing in all of life more special than that.

The princess's first look in the mirror.

In our humanity and brokenness, it’s easy to forget how special we are to our Heavenly Father. Lily may have surprised us, and even herself, with her dainty princess-like behavior that sunny day in Epcot, but she was actually more herself that day than in any day before or since. She is a princess. She is a precious child of the King of Kings, intimately known and forever loved. We all are.

You might not feel like the princess or prince you were designed to be, but that mud puddle you sometimes find yourself in is not your true habitat. Climb up into that chair, dirt and all. Gaze into the mirror of God’s transforming love, and let Him remind you of who you are – His masterpiece.